There are few times in your life when you are as stressed as
when you lose a loved one. Sadly, at this time when you are in
crushing pain, there seems to be a thousand details that need to be paid
attention to. From making proper arrangements, notification of family
members and dealing with all of the financial details after a death, it is easy
to lose track of what you have done and what needs to be done. The one way
to do this is to prepare ahead of time so that you will have fewer problems
being organized after a loved one passes.
Notifications
One of the first details you need to look after is notifications.
However, you do not have to do these yourself. Solicit the help of a
close friend to help notify other friends. Immediate family notifications
should be made by you but, cousins and more distant relatives can be notified
by their immediate family members. It is important that you do not
overlook obvious notifications like work (which you should do) and civic
organizations that your loved one belonged to (which can be done by anyone)
when making notifications.
Arrangements for Services
Service arrangements are nearly always done by immediate family.
However, flower ordering, shopping for clothing, preparing for a reception
after the services (if this is your tradition) may be able to be done by close
friends. You will have more than enough things to remember without having
to worry about all of these details. Remember, you also need some space
for yourself; grief is process and everyone handles it differently, and you may
need time alone.
Arrangements for Children
If you have small children and have just suffered the loss of a loved
one, you may need to make arrangements for children to be cared for during
services. A close friend is generally your best option. There are two
things to keep in mind when this is a necessity (a) that they will be unable to
attend the services and (b) they need to be someone the children trust.
This might seem like common sense, but you might be surprised at how often these
simple things can cause resentments to flare up later.
Insurance and Other Considerations
After the services have been completed there are a whole host of other
things that must be dealt with after a loved one passes. This is when your
organizational skills will really become a factor. You will be astounded
at the number of things that you don't even think of that need to be taken care
of. Here are a few of them:
- Cancel Auto
Insurance - Automobile insurance in the deceased name should be
canceled as quickly as possible;
- Credit Cards -
Sadly, identity thieves are not in bereavement with you. Some unscrupulous
people will attempt to use their local obituary listings for purposes of
stealing others identity. Contact all credit card companies as soon as
possible;
- Locate Life
Insurance Policies - Life
insurance policies can be a challenge to track down. You will
need to notify each company individually and notify them. In most cases
you will be asked to provide a copy of a certified death certificate;
- Close Bank Accounts -
Verify any bank accounts in the deceased name and close those accounts
immediately. If they are joint accounts, it may merely be a matter
of transferring to the joint owner. Most banks will require a death
certificate. In the event that the accounts are not joint
accounts, you may need to ask the bank to put a freeze or hold on the
account pending probate;
- Contact Employer -
While you may have notified the employer of the deceased about their
passing, there are other things involved. You may want to find out
about unpaid benefits including sick days, vacation days, 401(k) or other
pension plans as well as any pay due for the prior pay period. In
addition, the employer may be able to advise if they provided a life
insurance policy;
- Post Office -
Depending on whether you lived with the deceased or not, you may need to
notify the post office of a change of address. This can be critically
important especially if the deceased lived alone. Remember,
insurance policies may not be found - if you find a bill in the mail you
can address it at that time. You will want to ensure that all mail
is forwarded to a responsible person so that nothing is overlooked.
There are a lot of things that have to be dealt with after the passing
of a loved one. You may find it hard to focus during this time of pain
and grief. Unfortunately, you will need to deal with a number of things.
Getting organized after a loved one passes can help you focus your attention on
something other than the pain you feel and help you ensure that nothing is
overlooked.
Image credit: By MarianSigler {bla},
originally Niki (Modification of Red Ribbon.svg) [GFDL
(http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html) or CC-BY-SA-3.0
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/)], via Wikimedia Commons
